I recently spent a weekend with a very cherry 1970 BMW 2002 that some maniac/god decided to drop a racing engine into. After enjoying its many pleasures I just had to pen an homage to David E. Davis Jr.’s seminal review of the 2002 when it first arrived on our shores in 1968. Below is my update, and you can find the original here.

As I sit here, fresh from the elegant embrace of a 1970 BMW 2002, it occurs to me that something between thirty eight and thirty nine million Americans are going to make a terrible mistake this year. Like dutiful little robots they will march out of their identical McMansions and buy the wrong used car. Fools, fools! Terrible, terrible, I say. Why are you blowing your money on any number of tweaked and bodily-fluid enhanced yesteryear versions of the Civic / Focus / 3-series / 3-series Status Symbol / Eclipse / Sex Substitute / Camry / Accord / Crown Victoria / Overkill / Evo / A4 / CR-V / Malibu / GTO / GTA / GTB / GTS / GTX / Reality Blaster / Golf / Fusion / C-class / Mazda3 / XK-E / Dino / Dud car when you should be buying a classic BMW 2002 I ask.

Down at the discos, Jenni Applebottom and Chaz Power and all their twit friends buy blarting little Japanese coupes with raked windshields and large chrome wheels, unaware that somewhere, someday, some guy in a BMW 2002 is going to blow them off so bad they’ll henceforth leave every stoplight in second gear and never drive on a winding road again as long as they live.

In the suburbs, Biff Everykid and Kevin Acne and Marvin Sweatsock will press their fathers to buy IROC Camaros with hood vents mounted up near the horizon somewhere and enough power to light up the city of Seattle, totally indifferent to the fact they they could fit more friends into the BMW in greater comfort and stop better and go around corners better and get about 29 times better gas mileage.

Mr. and Mrs. America will paste a “Support the Troops” sticker on the back bumper of their used Sebring and run Old Glory up the radio antenna and never know that for about 2500 bucks less they could have gotten a car with more personality, more head room, more style, good visibility, decent brakes, independent rear suspension, an interior that tells you stories of past journeys and adventures every time you sit in it – not to mention a lot of other good stuff they didn’t even know they could get on an automobile, like responsive steering and seats that don’t make you tired when you sit in them.

So far as I’m concerned, to hell with all of ‘em. If they’re content to remain in the automotive dark, let them. I know about the BMW 2002’ Something between thirty eight and thirty nine million squares will miss out on this neat little 2-door sedan with all the cojones and moxy and cred of cars half its age and four times its price, but a few adventurous types will buy them this year, so the mainstream loses like always.

To my way of thinking, the 2002 was/is one of modern civilization’s all-time best ways to get somewhere sitting down. It grabs you. You sit in snug sport seats with great, tall windows all around you. You are comfortable and you can see in every direction. You start it. Willing and lumpy is how it feels. A rough idle, but no zappy noises to indicate the task you propose might be anything more than child’s play for all those twitchy Bavarian superhorses.

Depress the clutch. Easy. Like there was resistance there. Clunk. First gear. Remove weight of left foot from clutch as it travels it’s 3 feet back to rest. Place weight of right foot on accelerator then add a pound or two, on accelerator. The minute it starts moving, you know that Vin and Ludacris and Paul Walker and all those other big street racing studs retired only because they feared that someday you’d have one of these, and when that day came, you’d be indomitable. They were right. You are indomitable.

Nobody believes it, until I suck their headlights out. But nobody doubts it, once that nearly jet-loud little car has disappeared down the road and around the next bend, still accelerating without a sign of the brake lights. I learn not to tangle with the meth dealers in their big hot camaros with the 500 horsepower engines unless I can get them into a tight place demanding agility, brakes, and the raw courage that is built into the BMW’s ancient seat as a no-cost extra.

What you like to look for are teenage driven Civics and Cobalts and such. Them you can slaughter, no matter how hard they try. And they always try. They really believe all that hype about their VTEC and fuel injection, and the first couple of beatings at the hands of the 2002 make them think they’re tripping or something. But then they learn the awful truth, and they begin to hang back at traffic signals, pretending that they weren’t really racing at all. Ha! Try again, Honda. Slink home with your tail between your legs, Forte Koup. Hide in the garage when you see an ancient BMW coming. If you have to race with something, pick a kid on a Big Wheel.

But I don’t want you to get the notion that this is nothing more than a pocket street racer. The BMW 2002 may have been the first car in history to successfully bridge the gap between the diametrically-opposed automotive requirements of the wildly romantic car nut, on one hand, and the hyperpragmatic people at Consumer Reports, on the other. Enthusiasts’ cars invariably come off second-best in a CU evaluation, because such high-spirited steeds often tend to be all desire and no protein – more Megan Fox than Jennifer Aniston.

It’s interesting to see who owns a 2002. The twits don’t buy them, because it’s too non-sensible, too uncomfortable, and not easy enough to live with. The kids don’t buy them because it doesn’t look like something that will fit a bodykit and it doesn’t have an iPod player. BMW buyers – I suspect – have to be pretty maladjusted enthusiasts who want a unique car, a sense of humor to enjoy its foibles and the taste to appreciate its mechanical excellence.

The Germans had a word for it. Back in the day the German paper Auto Bild called the 2002 Flustern Bombe which means “Whispering Bomb,” and you should bear in mind that the German press spoke of bombs, whispering and otherwise, with unique authority.

Feel free to test-drive one, but please don’t tell any of those thirty nine million squares who are planning to buy something else. They deserve whatever they get. Now turn your hymnals to Number 2002 and we’ll sing two more choruses of Whispering Bomb…

This piece was orginally published at Euroberge

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We’re moving to the big leagues folks! Our one-man wrecking crew (that would be me, Adam) has been picked up by Petrolicious to help them out with their text content. That means great stories about beautiful classic cars penned by yours truly. I couldn’t have made it with you, my audience. Thank you very much for reading my work and helping me to get better. I owe you all a slurpee.

You’ll still see content popping up here, especially opinion pieces and new car news that doesn’t fit on Petrolicious.  Until then, head on over to their site if you’ve never been and read some of my pieces!

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View Larger Map

Route: Follow Mulholland Highway Northwest to the PCH.

Total Length: 31.2 miles

Directions: Turn onto Mulholland Highway from Topanga Canyon Blvd coming from either direction. PCH  up Latigo Canyon is my preferred route (as you get another canyon in), but you can also reach Latigo from the 101 Freeway.

Total Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Mulholland Highway is a famous driving road, and it is famous for a reason. From wide sweepers to the tight corners of “the snake,” Mulholland has a piece for every car and every driving style. You’ll also enjoy spotting all the supercars and sports bikes that are also enjoying the road. The road is also home to the world-famous Rock Store – you might not know you know it, but as soon as you see a picture or drive by it yourself you’ll recognize it from many a movie or commercial.

Curves Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Mulholland is a mix of highly-technical tight curves to straights and long sweepers. Whatever your vehicle, you’ll be able to test yourself and your abilities here. That said, care should be taken not to exceed your abilities as there is very little margin for error on this road. Enjoy the road, just don’t try and be a hero.

Police Presence Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

For this popular and busy of a driving road, the police were surprisingly absent. It was so shocking to me that it struck me while I was in mid-corner during a tricky section. Their absence is glaring that it is conspicuous. Me thinks that some local economies depend on us unwashed petrolhead masses descending on Mulholland regularly, and thus they leave us alone to possibly kill ourselves.

Traffic Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Not a lot of local traffic, but plenty of other enthusiasts will be there trying to enjoy the road with you. This means that traffic you mean will generally be moving just as quickly as you, or realize that you are faster/more foolish and get out of your way. This also means that you should count on oncoming traffic through every blind corner and always stay within your lane.

Scenic Beauty Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Canyon roads lined with trees that create a canopy, broad vistas, and blue California skies – what’s not to love? This is one of the more lush and verdant roads in the canyons of Southern California, and winding from the highlands all the way down to the ocean on PCH doesn’t exactly hurt. If you’re too busy diving from apex to apex, any passengers you might have will certainly enjoy the view.

Population Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

There are only a few spots along Mulholland that play host to residences or neighborhoods. Most to the road is uninhabited but for the rumble of V8s and the wail of motorcycles. Stay restrained and in control during these few sections where people live and you’ll be treated to plenty of road with nary a soul.

Speed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Though not a place for top speed testing by any means, you’ll find ample opportunity to exercise your ride of choice’s engine. About a quarter of the 30 mile road is suitable for pedal-to-the-metal fun, the remaining three quarter a mix of corners and intersections. The straights come just often enough to break up the tricky sections and keep things interesting.

Safety Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

There are plenty of guardrails and run-off sections along the road, so no fear of plummeting off a cliff at any point. The danger on Mulholland comes not from the environment but from yourself and other drivers leaving their lanes. The road is so well traveled with supercars and over-enthusiastic drivers of all financial straits, you absolutely must stay in your lane at all times and approach blind tight corners with caution in case a motorcyclist or driver is cutting the corner right into your hood or handlebars. Stay frosty and always drive within your personal limits in case someone else isn’t driving within theirs.

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Remember when Spotify was in private beta? Only the cool kids could get in and non-cool kids openly begged their friends for a referral code into the music site. Betas serve the dual purpose of building buzz and working out bugs in a controlled environment. So……rhetorical question: Why don’t cars go into beta?

An automotive beta could look like trying the car out for a week or buying it outright. It could involve weekly debriefs with an engineering liaison or monthly surveys. It could be as simple, and as risky, as trying out a new part and not telling the public. It could be any or none of these options. Betas are not set in stone, but the point is that they could be hugely useful to the companies and welcomed by the public.

If I’ve faithfully bought every Corvette since they hit the road, I sure want to get my hands on a new one before the unwashed masses. Hell, I’d probably pay a premium for the privileged of filling out weekly surveys for Chevy’s Quality Assurance Department just to feel like “part of the process.” I’m sure I’d drive it around even if it was covered in camo and stuffed with computers and logging equipment. If Barrett-Jackson has taught us anything, it’s that collectors will pay a premium to be first.

This goes beyond lust-worthy sports cars like the Corvette also. By using special pricing or other incentives, manufacturers could enroll beta customers for such pedestrian offerings as a Versa or CX-7. Offering a lower price, better rates, or an extended warranty would certainly be enough to enroll willing testers. Who doesn’t like good deal?

In exchange for giving select customers bragging rights or a sweet deal, the OEM’s would get real world non-engineer road use and that cool buzz of being experimental. How many recalls have we seen on basically new cars, and how many of those could have been avoided by letting the public get our greasy fingers on the cars in a controlled environment like a beta? Maybe a lot, maybe a few, but the downside of trying is vanishingly small.

So small in fact that automotive betas aren’t unheard of per se, just uncommon. The General Motors EV-1, the electric 1-Series, the Honda FCX Clarity, and to lesser extents the Ferrari FXX and the Rolls Royce electric Phantom. Some of these are perfect examples while some are merely a good start. What I’m talking about though is a widespread adoption of the beta system to more than just cutting-edge tech like EVs. Manufacturers want to get younger customers into their cars? Giving them a discount for being a tester is a great place to start. The age bracket between 18 and 35 that manufacturers so desperately crave are used to the latest and greatest tech being in beta first. They have shown their proclivity for trading polish and completeness for exclusivity and having the latest technology.

These wouldn’t be unfinished or dangerous cars either, the DOT wouldn’t allow that. At least they would be no more dangerous that any other new vehicle on our roads. Beta cars could be lease-only, so then auto companies could get the cars back and tear them down to see what failed. Leasing would also provide a great way to track the customers and make sure where the beta vehicles are being driven, how often, how much, and who is working on the car.

The most innovative companies are using white labels, A/B testing, beta releases, and innovation labs to stay on the cutting edge. For some reason, these methods have not percolated into the auto industry. Too bad for them, and us. Maybe I’ll give Telsa a call; I’m sure Elon would recognize many of these approaches and be happy to allocate a corner office for me to implement them.

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2013 is still fresh and wet behind the ears, and all the definitive lists of the “best” of 2012 are still trickling in. Well I have no interest in telling you what was the greatest of last year. What I want to relay is what you should avoid like your mom’s underwear drawer – the worst car I drove in 2012

Let’s not pander about any longer – it was the Infiniti M56. Boy howdy did I not like this car, but it is not so much that I hated my time in it. No, it just left me with a confused feeling while I drove it. The car is very schizophrenic – never quite deciding what its personality is or how it should drive. “I’m a big cushy sedan! Oooo no, I’m a muscle car! Maybe a sports sedan!” No. None of these, and all at the same time.

This is a vehicle attempting to be many things to many people, and as is often the case with such goals achieving none of them. This car would be a great grand tourer if it decided to be. Same goes for being an executive-shuttling sedan. If the design brief had not consisted of checking every available box the M56 would have been a formidable vehicle.

Instead what I drove was a massive soft driving boat with numb beyond Cadillac of the 70′s steering and the ability to shred it’s tires at any moment. And I can’t forget the Eco setting that attempts to turn this whole circus into a Prius. Yes, this car has a personality disorder (or two).

I was almost distracted enough by the cars enormous helping of horsepower and torque coming out of that honking 5.6 liter V8, 420 and 417 respectively, but the steering and suspension made it all but unenjoyable on anything other than a straight line.  This is another example where horsepower does not solve any problems, and actually makes them worse. Given my time with the M56, I had the feeling that the smaller M37 was probably quite good. A smaller engine and a less aggressive personality was all this car needed to be a competent commuter.

It didn’t help that I got a speeding ticket while testing this car, but that only reinforced my loathing. I had already decided that this was a bad car. As it turns out, the Infiniti M56 was the worst car I drove last year. What was the worst car you drove last year? Let us now in the comments below and peruse the gallery of the M56.

- Adam Kaslikowski

The post The Worst Car I Drove In 2012 appeared first on DrivingScene.

Gentle readers, I have traveled across this great country and seen its sights. I have driven to and fro through the rust belt, across the South, and over the Rocky Mountains. From deserts to rich plains, ocean to ocean I have experienced what driving through this land has to offer. With this wealth of experience, I feel it is only right that I share with you which state, as a whole, is the worst to drive through. I do this so that you can aggressively avoid it as I do now.

What makes a state a bad drive? I would not say the curviness or straightness of the road, for both offer their own delights. I would also not say that being a arid desert disqualifies a state, as ripping through Death Valley, the Mojave, or the Bonneville Salt Flats are some of the most memorable driving experiences I have. So what is it that is needed to stay in a driver’s good graces? In a word – Interest.

The land needs something of interest to keep the mind occupied. It could be an ugly road full of tight turns and switchbacks. that could be interesting. It could be a perfectly flat and straight road through country so beautiful you mind flies over it to soak in the grandeur. My playlist collection can do only so much, I need something, anything to keep  my interest.

Interest is what Wyoming lacks, in every sense of the word. Driving through this western state is akin to traveling through a grey and white dystopia from an apocalyptic future. There is just NOTHING of any kind of interest. Beautiful nature that makes you realize how small in the universe your life is? Nope. Just flat grey dirt pocked by a few dead scrub brushes. Winding technical roads that allow you to explore your car’s limits. Nadda. Long, flat, and straight – yet always too busy to try for a top speed run (however inadvisable and illegal that is on ANY public road). Well how about a thriving culture that begs you to stop and experience a different way of life? Ha. No one lives in Wyoming, or at least not 90% of Wyoming. Does the state at least have any odd-ball American artifacts like the world’s largest rubber-band collection? Not that I know of or have ever seen roadside.

The major exception to all of this is the Grand Teton National Park.  If you’ve never been, the park is a place of unrivaled beauty and spectacle. However, that North-Western corner of Wyoming is not generally driven through – it is a destination in of itself. To drive THROUGH Wyoming, you are left with two major interstates. Cutting across the state is I-80, and running up and down the state is I-25. Along either of these routes, there is a just a whole lot of nothing.

I’ve driven both interstate through Wyoming many times, and I can certainly tell you that there is nothing to look at, think about, or visit. Kentucky has rolling grass hills while Montana truly is big sky country. California has the PCH and vineyards, and Texas has clear expanses of desert beauty that allow your mind to wander to new planes. This country of ours offers limitless natural and man-made beauty to travel along, but Wyoming contains none of it.  It is by far the worst state to drive through.

- Adam Kaslikowski

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Is this or is this not the the coolest Porsche 911 you’ve ever seen? The answer (to both) is YES. I love this thing, in a horrified kind of way. It’s the little details that ensure you’ll survive the zombie apocalypse. Rope? Check. Pickaxe? Check. Winch and nobby tires? Check and check. And if my eyes don’t deceive me, it would appear to be slightly lifted. From the matte olive paint job to the extra headlights, this beast is ready for a rumble.

I think we need to start a petition that all new apocalyptic movies need to include a hardened sports car like this. How much better would 2012 have been if John Cusack had been driving an RX-7 with a gun-turret? Or imagine a monster truck Lambo in Zombieland. Let’s make this happen.

Very little is known about the providence of this build or what motivated it, but to whoever put in the time – WELL DONE. Because Porsche saw fit to take 911′s rallying in the 70′s, we know they work off-road just as well as on. I’m starting to dream of a garage full of nothing but customized 911s. From your basic 2.7RS Clone to a 911 Rat Rod to this thing. My dreams are starting to get expensive, and apocalyptic.

Source: Flat Sixes

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