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The Most Honest Car Ad I Have Ever Seen - DrivingScene

Categorized | News

The Most Honest Car Ad I Have Ever Seen

Posted on 19 October 2011 by Adam Kaslikowski


Below you will find an ad with the kind of honesty that could never come from corporate PR personnel. Instead, we have to leave it up to the local dealers to come up with real wit and humor in an effort to move some metal. While I might disagree with the later half of the ad saying the car is now beautiful and capable, at the end of the day it is still an advertisement. Keep reading to see for yourself:

Baby, come back..

I used to be your sweetheart before you left me for that foreign model. But it’s my fault, I let myself go. I may have lost my looks for a while, but I was always faithful. I’m still trying to forget how I looked in the 90’s, when my stylist decided to me the new “Taurus” look. I was parked backwards in the driveway for two weeks and you never even noticed. That about the time you decided to leave. I can still hear your tires squealing.

After you left, I landed a few small parts in “Wildest Police Chases.” It was fun until I found out they were using live ammo. I got shot at! Two of the other cars i worked with (I wont mention any family names) said they weren’t frightened, but I saw the oil spots.

When my film career ended, I met a man with a strange accent who said he had friends in Las Vegas who could show me the city and get me in at the big hotels. But I was duped. They put me out on the streets as a taxi. It wasn’t pretty. And neither was I. But my owner said he didn’t mind, because “my kind” were always low maintenance.

But now I’m back. And I’ve had some “work” done. I’ve lost weight and gained muscle. I think you’ll love my new shape. I don’t drink as much as I used to. Now it just takes one gallon of gas to get me to go 29 miles down the highway. And I can really hold my ethanol. Oh, did I mention I got a new chassis? But I still have the same heart. And it still beats for you.

Please.. Let’s make up. I want you back. I hope you come and see me soon – I’m a new car. And I have so much more to give. Just one spin around the block will convince you.. It’s time to come home.

-Impala

If anyone is moved by this prose, you can patronize the responsible dealership in Aurora, CO. Suss Buick-GMC is apparently selling former fleet 2011 Impalas for only $15,981. Quite the honest deal.

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