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What I Learned From Getting Hit By A Car - DrivingScene

Categorized | Editorial

What I Learned From Getting Hit By A Car

Posted on 29 November 2011 by Adam Kaslikowski

My back hurts, I’m lying on the ground, and I’m re-evaluating some of my recent life choices. I’ve just been hit by a car. I’ve actually been hit 4 or 5 times now. I’m sorry I can’t remember the exact amount, I know it’s terribly unprofessional of me. Hit the jump to see how this went down…

Let’s back up, shall we? My good friend Dave makes movies for a living. I know he’s a good friend, because why else would I agree to being his stunt man? His exact words when he asked were “How do you feel about me hitting you with my car?” With friends like these…

Before my brain even started calculating the exact amount of “piss offs” I wanted to give him when he asked, my stupid stupid mouth teurreted out “I’m in.” Not the first time this mouth of mine has gotten me into trouble, but certainly the most likely to earn me an extended stay in traction. I’m really going to have to stop making decisions while wearing my Batman-themed pajama pants.

The day of days arrived, and I had done such a good job of deluding myself over the past week that I was actually excited. I know, sick right? Apparently that week had had the opposite effect on Dave. He was now visibly worried about my safety. No one had ever communicated concern like this to me before, and it filled me with confusing emotions I’ll have to deal with at a later date. He was actually considering scrapping the whole “let’s hit Adam with a car” thing and shooting the scene without an actual impact. I’ll admit I was starting to have concerns too. I mean, I didn’t want my fat ass putting a huge dent in someone’s perfectly good car hood.  Dave was still scared for me – what with my lack of training, experience, decent health insurance, and anything resembling protective gear – but all my reservations about property damage were silenced when Dave said the car was an old beater and barely ran anyway. Game on for me then.

I spent the next half hour of my life convincing Dave to hit me with an automobile (something must have already been seriously wrong with my brain). I won, because all he has to lose is my health. We did a couple of shots first, and then jump right into the vehicular manslaughter. No rehearsal, no prep, just me walking in front of an oncoming Honda Accord circa 1998.

The camera is rolling, the car is speeding towards me, and I walk right out in front of it. Every part of my feeble brain was screaming at me. I’ve been trained since childhood not to do what I am currently doing.

When I lose the bumper inside my peripheral vision I give a little jump, and then feel my shins push outward and pivot my whole body onto the hood as the Accord screeches to a halt. That. Felt. AWESOME. I can’t even do the profession thing and wait for Dave to yell “cut.” I immediately jump off the car in my excitement and start doing some kind of hipster rain dance. I find Dave’s ashen face right when he informs me that we are definitely no doing that again. He thinks I’m hurt, but that’s fair because now I think he’s a coward.

Once again I convince him that rushing a ton and a ½ of steel and glass toward my fleshy body is a good idea. We shoot the scene 3 or 4 more times as I attempt to make it look more deadly each time. Oh what my neighbors must think having watched this poor boy getting vehicularly savaged repeatedly out their front windows. After that scene wrapped, we shot a couple of me rolling off the car onto the ground in a pile of simulated bruised flesh and broken bones. This involved reversing the previous order of events – I start off laying on the hood as the car gets up to speed then slams on its brakes to propel me off. At the end of the shoot, I lay on the pavement only slightly pretending to be longing for the sweet embrace of death.

So what did I learn from getting hit by car? Weirdly, that I enjoy putting myself in stupid and dangerous positions. And that I shouldn’t be Dave’s friend anymore. I definitely learned that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go play in traffic to get my new adrenalin fix…

-Adam Kaslikowski